A post done in real time

In the crib:

I sad yittle girl on Caillou. I sad yittle girl. A sad yittle girl on Caillou's name is?

MoreMommyMoreMommyMoreMommyMoreMommyMoreMommyMoreMommy!

All done nap, Mommy. All done nap.

[singing] Da da da da da da! A rest of it goes?

Mommmmmmmmmmmymommymommymommymommy!!

[kicking the crib bars] bangbangbangbangbangbangbangbangbang

I. . .I yittle girl at yiberry! A yittle girl at yiberry's name is? I her!

Orange binky! Where are you, orange binky? A orange binky is? No can't see it!

In my head:

Oh my freaking lord, please make him go to sleep. I will do anything, dear sweet baby Jesus, if you just make him nap for an hour. I'll. . . .I'll clean the upstairs toilet! Just make him sleep. One hour. Forty-five fucking minutes.

. . . .

He's been quiet for a while. Is he sleeping? I think he's sleeping. Don't think it, Kate, you'll jinx it.

. . . .

I can't hear anything. . .I think he's asleep. Oh thank you, God. Thank you, sweet little baby Jesus. I love you both. Do I really have to clean the upstairs toilet? I'm 35 weeks pregnant for Christ's sake. I should be resting while I have the chance. Screw the upstairs toilet. It'll still be dirty tomorrow. Hmmmmm . . .maybe I'll take a nap. Or I could watch ---

In the crib:

Yook yike bear! Yook yike bear in my crib! Pretty silly! Hahahahaha!

[singing] Doo doo doo doo doo!

All done nap, Mommy!

More get out of crib now, Mommy.

More get OUT.